Being a good parent can be a challenge even when you are surrounded by support and familiar circumstances, so you can imagine that parenting in a foreign country comes with a new set of challenges!
Kids are far less powerful than their parents (regardless of how it feels some times) and they are at our mercy when it comes to making big decisions like relocating to a new country. When you bring your children with you to a foreign country, you are placing your family in a totally new environment. As adults we will struggle with the foreignness of a new place, and with learning the customs and practices of the people around us. Those struggles are the same ones our children will go through, but without the buffer of previous experience at learning to adapt. International travel is a wonderful opportunity for your children to learn and grow, but it can be a stressful and exhausting existence for your family in the beginning. Expect some tears, disrupted sleeping, and some "acting out" behaviors.
Education
If your child will need to attend school in your host country, research your options while you are still in the interview phase. Here are some things to research:
Kids are far less powerful than their parents (regardless of how it feels some times) and they are at our mercy when it comes to making big decisions like relocating to a new country. When you bring your children with you to a foreign country, you are placing your family in a totally new environment. As adults we will struggle with the foreignness of a new place, and with learning the customs and practices of the people around us. Those struggles are the same ones our children will go through, but without the buffer of previous experience at learning to adapt. International travel is a wonderful opportunity for your children to learn and grow, but it can be a stressful and exhausting existence for your family in the beginning. Expect some tears, disrupted sleeping, and some "acting out" behaviors.
Education
If your child will need to attend school in your host country, research your options while you are still in the interview phase. Here are some things to research:
- Can my child attend local public k-12 schools? If so, what is the language of instruction?
- If not, are there private international schools available? What curriculum are available - American, British, Australian, Canadian, etc?
- If you child must attend a private school, does your employer offer a school tuition benefit? If yes, how much? What is the average cost of school attendance per child?
- How difficult is it to get a place in a school? Can you start the procedure before you leave the US?
- When does the school year start and end? Can children transfer in mid-year? In Australia and Oceania, the "summer" break for schools is November through January, but the school holiday around June and July is only 4 weeks. Other countries may have similarly topsy-turvy school years compared to the US.
- Sometimes the stars do not align, and you will have to face the choice of not accepting a position due to schooling issues, or home school for the first year (or the last part of the school year your child would arrive during). If this is a possibility, look into whether home schooling is authorized in your host country and if so how it works.
- School transportation - does it come with tuition or is it a separate fee?
- Will your child have to wear a school uniform? If the answer is yes, this can cut down on the clothes you bring for your child(ren) since you will have to purchase uniforms. In the UAE, expat children must attend private schools, and almost all of the schools require uniforms.
- If your child already plays a sport (or participates in orchestra, drama club, etc.), is it available at his/her new school? In Oceania, rugby, soccer and netball (similar to women's basketball) are very popular school sports, but softball and ice hockey would be unavailable.
If your child(ren) are under the age of 12-13 and if there won't be a stay at home parent watching them, you will need to arrange some kind of childcare so that you can work. Here are some issues to research:
- Does your child's school have an after school program that can bridge the gap between end of school and when you get off work?
- How often does your child's school have 1/2 days? In my son's school the last Thursday of the month is always 1/2 day.
- Is center daycare available? If so, do they provide transportation? - This option is really the least likely to happen in many countries. In countries with cheap labor, center daycare doesn't make a lot of sense when you could just hire a nanny to watch your children and take care of household chores. As well, in countries where women are not a large part of the workforce, there isn't much infrastructure like center daycares to assist working women.
- If the standard for childcare is hiring a nanny, how does that work? Are there agencies that you can hire from, or is the process more ad hoc?
- Do you have to sponsor your nanny's visa? What is the process for that, and what are the fees? Is there a gap in time between when you enter the country and when you can sponsor a visa for a domestic helper like a nanny? If there is, what are your childcare options?
- What is the average salary you can expect to pay a nanny, and what does a standard work contract look like?
- Does the nanny have to live in with you? If not, how common is it to have a non-live in nanny?
- What happens if you hire a nanny and you want to fire her? In the UAE, if you sponsor a domestic worker visa and fire the worker, they have to leave the country and are barred from re-entry for 6 months, and you are barred from sponsoring a visa for 12 months.
- Do you have to pay for the nanny's health insurance? (for example, it's Yes in the UAE)
- Can the nanny do other domestic tasks like dish washing, cooking, laundry, etc..?
- In the case of very young children, how can you find a nanny who is trained in early childhood development? What about CPR and First Aid?
- If you wish your child to attend a preschool, can the nanny transport the child?
- How will the nanny deal with tantrums or discipline issues when your child misbehaves? Discuss the acceptability of spankings, time-outs, raising your voice, etc. as there will likely be cultural differences in how these are typically handled in your host country.
- Does your child have food allergies? How easy is it to get medications such as epipens? Does your child's school support food allergies?
- Does your child's school have a school nurse?
- (once you have arrived in country and are situated in your new home) Where is the closest emergency room? What is the local equivalent to 911?
- Does your health insurance cover childhood vaccinations? In either case, you should have your child's vaccinations up to date before you leave the US. Be sure to bring your child(ren)'s shot record with you, as most school systems will require it for admission.
- I recommend that you bring a goodly supply of basic over the counter children's medication such as children's ibuprofen, Benadryl, and nasal decongestant. Don't bring cough syrups with you (even Over The Counter) unless you are sure that the syrup is legal and does not require a prescription in your host country. Nyquil is not allowed in the UAE and if found in your luggage, it will at the very least be confiscated. If your family has a brand and type of band aid that you usually use, or a favorite character band aid for the kiddos, bring 3 boxes with you. If you can get all of these items in your host country, great! If not, at least you have a good supply until the next time you return to the US.
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