Working abroad while married (or partnered)

Potential issues if you're bringing a spouse/partner:

The partner that follows for a job is often called the "trailing spouse", though understandably many people find this term belittling. In the old days, the trailing spouse was always a woman, which is why there are often organizations like the American Women's Club or the International Women's Club (to provide female TSs with social contacts) in countries that have a history of hosting many expat workers. While librarians are used to the fact that ours is still a majority female profession, the idea of a woman taking a job and her male partner tagging along is still somewhat novel in many countries.

It's worth taking a look at this 80 page report from a survey of trailing spouses with your partner while you decide whether to accept a foreign job. While it deals more with corporate relocations (ie a current employee being transferred to an assignment in another country), it surveyed 264 TSs in 54 host countries and will give you some ideas of obstacles you may face.

In most countries, it will be very difficult for your spouse to find a job. If your partner is also a librarian or is a university professor, you may have better luck than if your partner is a web designer or chef. Many countries have laws about not letting foreigners take jobs away from qualified locals, so your partner will need to have unique skills (road engineer, veterinarian) that are under-represented AND find a job vacancy. Most service jobs (food servers, retail clerks, hair stylists, taxi drivers) and skilled trades jobs (plumbers, roofers, car mechanics) can be done by locals, even in under-developed countries. But if your partner is an IT specialist or chemistry professor, by all means ask your institution the moment you get a job offer if there's a place for your partner in the relevant department. Since they're going to pay to bring him/her over anyway as part of your family, they may jump at the chance to do a 2-for-1 hire (assuming that your spouse doesn't teach something irrelevant to your institution like (American) Curriculum Design).

Unless you have young children (and no nanny) to keep your partner busy during the workday, he or she may feel isolated and bored. If your spouse is working remotely for a US company as a contractor during the workday, they'll be busier (and earning US $ for your return) but still not get to know many people locally. If your spouse had a professional job at home that they gave up to follow you, they may be especially depressed when they settle into life in your new location. However, if your spouse is interested in attending university/graduate school in your host country, that will not only keep him/her from getting bored, but there may be a discount/tuition waiver if they attend the university you will be working for.

Male TSs will almost always have it harder than female TSs because 1) men supported by their wives are unusual in most cultures 2) there's not a club/ volunteer / garden society social infrastructure for men in most host countries like there is for women TSs 3) there simply aren't as many of them. In Belgium, men can join S.T.U.D.S. (Spouses Trailing Under Duress Successfully) for monthly pub nights or card games; other organizations for men might exist in your new country (or hey- you, the male TS, could start one!).

This is not to say women TSs have it easy; a lot of the club/social infrastructure for TSs in some countries seems almost colonial, aimed at ambassador's wives or other non-working ladies of privilege. A 25 year old American female TS with a graduate degree and no children may find she has nothing in common with the members of these clubs and despair about ever meeting people she can talk to about something other than managing household help. Again, starting a TS club or sport/activity meetup based on your own interests (facebook expat groups for your country are great for this) can help a lot.

We mentioned this in our presentation, but it bears repeating: If you are not married to your partner or have a same-sex partner/spouse, find out immediately from HR if they are eligible for spousal benefits (insurance, tuition waiver, paid passage over, etc) and if there are any potential obstacles. Some countries may have anti-discrimination laws in place, but the reality of being a LGBTQ (and foreign) couple may be very different, especially if you'll be working in a non-cosmopolitan area. In much of the Middle East, it's not just same-sex couples who face exclusion; living with your unmarried opposite-sex partner may be illegal (to the point where you can be jailed or fined if caught!).

If either of these situations apply to you, try to investigate before you apply for a job; facebook expat groups are generally good for this.